Image by me https://www.instagram.com/gauravae86/
It is pretty shocking to note how Bollywood movies have always normalized horrendous behavior in men since ages. We see men stalking women day in and day out. Catcalling women all around town in public while singing some song is normal for Bollywood. It doesn’t matter if its harassment. And yeah, she seems to enjoy it. So all the more reason for normal men to do that, no?
No Bollywood movie is complete without a scantily-clad sexy woman dancing to an ‘item number’ where she is the ‘item’. Sure, the film industry contains all educated and sensible people and they believe they do this as an ‘art’ form. But do they realize that the average man who watches this does not look at it as art? People believe the life portrayed on the celluloid as the ideal life. They want to be like the actors. They idolize them. Men believe they are supposed to stalk women and hold their hand forcibly. Men believe women dress up only to feast the eyes of men. So they can nudge their male friends and smirk at that ‘item’ and discuss her body in detail. Yeah, it’s fun, isn’t it?
The worst part of Bollywood is that despite all the stalking, despite all the harassment, despite the horrendous molestation; the heroine ultimately falls in love with this lead hero. Really? And people believe this s***?
Since we were kids, we were encouraged to have more same-sex friends. Fair enough. But then, as we grew up and our minds shifted from ‘ew, girls’ to ‘wow, girls’; and we started to make female friends, our male friends would accuse of us being ‘feminine’ for hanging out with girls. “What are you doing talking to girls? You are a boy.” Genius.
That’s the mantra: Don’t talk to girls. They are not your friends. They are just ‘items’ to discuss with your ‘bros’. And if you like one of them? Just follow her around! Girls love that! Find out her number somehow and call her all the time. Excellent. You are going to marry her one day!
If all the above seems strange to you, I congratulate you for growing up in some strata of the Indian society which is unknown to me. You have been lucky.
It has only been a few years that I have begun to ignore the remarks of fellow men and started associating myself freely among women. And it has opened a whole new world to me. All the while, I had been living a lie.
Parents having kids as old as twenty tell them to stay away from the opposite sex. And then suddenly when they have graduated and started to earn, they want them to get married. Wow.
In a country where crimes against women are shamefully frequent, I get that parents want their girls to be safe. To an extent. But why not try this: encourage them to have more opposite-sex friends. Start from your school/college/buildings. Teach them to understand people, judge the good from bad. The answer to these crimes is not living a life away from men. Just stay away from horrible monsters masquerading as humans and I assure you, you’ll be fine.
I have been happy to note a few Bollywood movies going off on a tangent and making movies with a female lead. That is a good thing. Kudos to all the filmmakers for starting this trend.
Dear men, you don’t become feminine on having more female friends than men. In fact it makes you all the more masculine. It is more important to have a female best friend than having a girlfriend. And it’s not difficult. You just have to be a good listener. You won’t fall in love with her looks, that’s just lust. You will fall in love with her amazing personality. That’s what matters.
Just give it some thought. The worst that could happen is that you’ll become open-minded and attain emotional maturity. Is that a price you’re willing to pay?
To the parents: Trust your kids
To the men: Form good friendships with women
To the women: Not all men are bad
To the haters: Congratulations on your limited intelligence and closed-mindedness
To the open-minded people: Share this article with your friends and family. Even if my words have impacted the soul of one person, I’ll be happier for having done my bit in this world.
Thank you to all the wonderful females in my life!
Check out this similar post by my friend https://rsjtech.wordpress.com/2017/01/20/from-a-boy-to-a-man-journey-of-becoming-mature/